my mom saw the cuts on my leg and asked what they were. i passed it off on the cat, which is bs because what kind of cat has 8 claws so close together? covered up some of it with makeup and put a long robe on. fuck.

ate so much bullshit. want to die.

binged again yesterday with my mom. fuck. she’s just so warm and loving and sweet and wants me to eat so badly that when i’m with her i really just go for it. it sucks. i told her i can’t eat like a pig anymore. if i eat badly it gives her an excuse to eat badly and i don’t want to be that.

so i’m semi-fasting til i go to boston. just almonds, fruits and veggies. fuck life.

gonna do a lot of yoga/stretching today. around 6 im going up to the city to get my shit and bring it home, but on friday i should be going up to stay the weekend. i have mixed feelings about this, seeing as my friends are ALWAYS ordering food. but it will be nice to see everyone and get drunk.

my period should be coming any day now, but it fluctuates so intensely that it might come in 10 days. we used a condom when i had sex last but i literally always freak out about being pregnant while expecting my period. i took one of lindsey’s dollar store tests this year. also: why the fuck did i have sex with that guy? i hate myself. i am nauseated thinking about it.

anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. eating my yogurt/granola and drinking my coffee, as usual.